The Xtravagant Miss Hinoto
by ChubbyBunny
Summary: What do you get if you take Miss Cleo, and add Hinoto to the equation? Alot of fun! R+R


The X/travagant Miss Hinoto

By: ChubbyBunny

Edited by: Jaha Canon

Disclaimer: I don't own X. I don't own W, Y, or Z either. Just so ya' know. ^_^ 

Camera person: "We're on in 5, 4, 3, 2..."(camera man points and a red light flashes) 

Hinoto appears dawning a bright orange turban and matching robe. As she proceeds onto the stage, she stumbles over a tacky rug and lands flat on her face due too her blindness. Quickly, she crawls over to her couch, sits and smiles. 

Hinoto: (still smiling) "Good evening babies!(her mouth isn't moving) Tonight, Ms. Hinoto will solve all of your woes and worries! First Caller, hello!"

Kamui: "Uhh...hello?" Hinoto:" Yes baby?" 

Kamui:(with a hint of annoyance in his voice) "I'm not a kid." 

Hinoto: (sweetly) "Your Ms. Hinoto's baby! What is your trouble?" 

Kamui:"...I...uhh..." 

Hinoto: "Now now, don't be shy!" 

Kamui:(nervously) "I think my best friend is trying to kill me." 

Hinoto: "What makes you say that?" 

Kamui: "I'M HIDING IN A CLOSET FOR GOD'S SAKE!"(Kamui then breaks down into uncontrollable sobbing) 

Hinoto: "Alright, alright, calm down! Let me read your cards." 

She then pulls out regular playing cards and lays them out into very unorganized piles on the table. Another cameraman smacks his forehead and runs up to the stage. He quickly swipes all of the cards off of the table and throws down some tarot cards. Hinoto quickly shuffles them like a blackjack dealer and is about too read Kamui's fortune when... 

Egg timer: BRIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGG!!!! 

Hinoto: "Oops! Times up baby!"

Kamui: (horrified) "WHAT?!" 

Hinoto: (smiling away) " Now, don't forget, five dollars a second! You shall receive your bill in the mail! Bye bye baby!" 

Kamui is about to say something but is quickly cut off. 

Hinoto: "Alright then! Next caller."

Sorata: "Uhh...am I on? Hello?"(taps the telephone receiver) 

Hinoto: (slightly annoyed) Yes baby, you are. 

Sorata: (blows hard into the receiver making a loud static noise)

Hinoto: (eyes narrow dangerously, then a loud yelp is heard from Sorata's phone line)

Sorata: "Ouch! Gee, sorry; my toaster just flew in from the kitchen and hit me in the head." 

Hinoto: (innocently) "Really? How very odd..."

Sorata: "I just wanted to ask..."

Hinoto: (mystically) "There is something you wanted to ask."

Sorata: (sounds genuinely amazed)" Wow! You knew what I was calling for!"

Hinoto: (smiles) "That's why I have a late night fortune telling show."

Sorata: "Cooool. Anyway, I wanted too ask...(is suddenly very shy) is there any chance of romance in my future? I mean, there's a girl, and I think she likes me... 

Hinoto: "Hold on, let me check the cards. (fiddles with her tarot cards) Why, yes! I see a woman with extremely short hair in your future!"

Sorata: "Actually, the girl I like..." 

Hinoto: "She has fairly long hair!" 

Sorata: (amazed) Wow! Yes! 

Hinoto: (all mystical again) "And, I see her name begins with a C!" 

Sorata: "No." 

Hinoto: "D?"

Sorata: "No." 

Hinoto: "A?"

Sorata: "WOW! YOU ARE SOOO RIGHT! Thanks' Ms. Hinoto!" (hangs up phone) 

Hinoto: "Next caller!"

Fuma: "Hi, I just wanted too know, what's the best way to open a locked closet door?" 

Kamui: (in background) "DON'T TELL HIM!!"

Hinoto: "Do you have a key?" 

Fuma: "Nope." 

Hinoto: "Do you have a credit card then?" 

Fuma: "Hold on." (lays receiver down)

Hinoto: "..." 

Fuma: (picks up receiver) "Alright, I got one." 

Hinoto: "Just swipe it down the right crack in the door." 

Fuma: "Thanks" (hangs up) 

*commercial break*

Hinoto removes her turban and wig and scratches her now naked head. 

Hinoto: "What idiots I work for."

*end commercial break*

Hinoto returns to her couch. 

Hinoto: "I am sorry too say our time together is slowly coming too a close. We have time for one last caller. Hello caller!" 

Kotori: "Uhm...I think my older brother is trying to kill my boyfriend. Did you tell a guy named Fuma how to open a locked door with a credit card?" 

Hinoto: "...nope."

Kotori: "FUMA!! PUT DOWN THE CACTUS!!!"

Sounds of breaking glass and running feet fill the T.V. studio. 

Kamui: "EEEEEEEEEKKK!!!!!!!" 

Fuma: "COME BACK TOO ME KAMUI!!" 

Hinoto: "Well, that's all the time we have for tonight! Goodnight babies!" 

*******

End


End file.
